It's Monday - I'm sore, scratched, unable to concentrate and missing a pair of gloves. But I'm also a Tough Mudder - and the headband on my desk proves it!
Sit back and grab a coffee - this is a long entry! We’ll begin with the night before….
Friday:
Arrived in Cowes at about 7pm and after booking into our
accommodation (which turned out to be a brilliant little cottage just perfect
for our purposes) we headed into town for dinner. Naturally, being a weekend
and the beginning of school holidays it was quite busy, but it was a very
bizarre kind of ‘busy’ as everyone surrounding you was of a certain age group
(20-40 largely) and pretty much all looking remarkably fit! Not a place to be
self-conscious of one’s appearance for sure but it was quite a lark seeing all
these buff people walking around, some in t-shirts from various gyms or fitness
groups, all knowing that each other will be facing it tomorrow…
Had a good carbo-loaded dinner, even treated myself to a beer
(beer has carbs right?!) and then we headed back home for an earlyish night.
Set 3 alarms (just to be safe!) and tried to calm the anxiety and get some
sleep.
Saturday:
BZZZZT!!!!!!!!!! #1
BZZZZT!!!!!!!!!! #2
BZZZZT!!!!!!!!!! #3
Ok, I’m up! 5am hurts, I don’t care what your reasons are
for it…. Stuffed down a quick breakfast
and we were on our way in the darkness to the course. Dark always makes things
more anxious and uncertain, and together with a small bunch of other volunteers
we stumbled our way down to check-in and got our jobs for the day. We decided
to pick spectator sign-in which, while not glamorous, would have us near the
course, right by Arctic Enema and Devil’s Beard.
Thus followed a couple of hours of registering spectators,
selling tickets and so on, which actually wasn’t a bad job and it was great to
feel helpful. Then an organiser came over and said they needed a few guys to
help empty ice into Arctic Enema… Fantastic!! I swear that’s the best job on
the course. Hard work of course as you’re constantly grabbing big bags of ice
from a semi-trailer, smashing them on the ground a couple of times (good squat
and back exercises there!) and then cutting them open and pouring them into the
dumpsters. But the joy of standing there, with a big full bag of ice, beckoning
the next victim up to your dumpster before ‘freshing up’ their bath for them is
worth every bit of effort.
Then with our shift finished we wandered around the course
getting a good feeling for what I’d be in for tomorrow, which did a great job
of easing my nerves and I was much more comfortable for the day head. We also had the great experience of waiting in line to grab a beer and having a participant, newly christened with his orange headband say "Hey, thanks for all of this!"... So nice to have someone thank you for the work that you've done and it's a great example of the Tough Mudder spirit.
Sunday:
Helped by the change in daylight savings, which gave us an
extra hour’s sleep, we were up again at 5am and back down to the course. My
wife was volunteering again so we went through the whole process and she chose
face-marking today, which gave her the perks of handling lots of buff male
chests and biceps, flirting a lot, and getting an early finish to see her
skinny husband finish the course.
After seeing her off I went back outside the gate (unlike
Saturday they were keeping participants out of the registration area until they
were ready. Wise move TM, glad to see Saturday’s lessons were noted and learned
from) and stood around. Was glad again to have seen it all yesterday as I’d
have been so nervous at this point otherwise.
Gates open. Registration done. Rest of the team slowly
arrived and we busied ourselves sorting gear, rubbing in various ointments and
taking last minute nutrition – More as a means of burning up nervous energy
than out of necessity – And by the look of the other teams doing all sorts of
warm-ups and antics it was a common theme.
9:20am – It’s go time.
Being called down to the start line we said our farewells to
our awesome supporters, having that awful sense of ‘point of no return’ as we
headed onto the track. Immediately I couldn’t help but laugh at TM’s sense of
humour as to even get to the start line you had to get over a Berlin Wall.
Luckily it was a shorty and we were all up and over unassisted. It’s quite
funny to stand at the startline and see all these people pour over the wall in
a human stream! Once there we remarked at just how 600 people, amped up on
adrenaline and testosterone, created a phenomenal amount of heat. It’s HOT by the
start line!!
Some great hyping-up from the MC and the temperature and
noise increased before we were let loose on the course… It’s hard to keep your
pace under control but I know from past experience in situations like this
that’s easy to go too hard and burn yourself out in no time. So we all eased
our way out of the start and headed up down the track, stunned that this was
actually finally happening.
Tired yet?
After settling into a nice running pace (although SS was
pushing himself along awfully quickly and lifted our group’s pace
significantly) we hit ‘Tired yet?’ – the first obstacle and a nice easy one to
get us going: 50m or so of tires spread out that you need to hop through and
over. No real problems there, just being careful not to twist an ankle. No mud
either, but the gravel it was set on (which is obviously the run-off spaces for
the supercars/superbikes) is damn deep and pretty hard to run on.
Berlin Walls – 8ft
Headed around the corner and were confronted with 2 things –
Firstly, our team’s ‘official’ photographer ready to catch us at a moment of
weakness, stalking us from the sidelines, and another set of Berlin Walls.
Again, they were shortish and we were fresh, so it was a pretty easy up ‘n
over, with myself SS and SD helping the girls up ‘n over.
Berlin Walls – 9ft
Having that completed we kept jogging around the racetrack,
with only a short stop so SD could have a quick pee (too much pre-race
hydration obviously!!) before hitting the next Berlin Walls. That extra 1ft of
height made them seem much more difficult, with people definitely needing help
on these ones. Two of our team got up with the assistance of others and then
set about helping our team over as well as a few others who were running alone.
Perched up on that narrow wall is a pretty scary moment and it takes a bit of
knack to lock yourself in so you don’t get pulled back over.
Then only a few steps away we encountered…
Devil’s Beard
I’d watched this one on the videos and knew it would help to
hold it up for the other for a bit. In they went and then I followed…. Doing
this one ‘alone’ is certainly tough, as we all noted when a team in front got
out leaving the net to collapse on us which increases the weight and digs you
into the harsh gravel underneath you. It was a real exercise of core and all
those bloody bridge walks that our trainer has had us doing were suddenly much
appreciated!! Emerged to see my wife
smiling on from her post at registration which was a nice bit of encouragement
after that effort.
Arctic Enema
Only a hundred metres or so to this one – Having watched
this one in action a lot yesterday I was well prepared but you still have no
idea how it’s going to feel! Up onto the edge, don’t let yourself hesitate and
freak out, and in you go… To be honest, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would
be – although ducking your head under the board really did help it sink in and
get the brain freeze going. What did surprise me was just how ‘solid’ it was,
having to almost clamber over the chunks of ice to get out again, and utter a few
expletives in good company. I don’t know whether the ice was affecting her
brain, but LS seemed to love this one and was raving about it for the next few
kms!
Electric Eel
A good section of running here to warm up again… It was here
that we first noted that our team was doing remarkably well on the running, and
we gave ourselves a bit of a pat on the back for that.
Rounded the corner and there was the ‘mystery’ obstacle,
revealed at the start line as Electric Eel. Dandy. Our first taste of 10,000 volts
will be crawling on the ground. Awesome.
I launched myself in and it wasn’t long before I got the
first hit, a mild spark to one side. Not so bad… But then came the next – a
full jolt. And another. And another. I was cursing like a sailor and struggling
to get through as quickly as possible whilst avoiding as many as possible…
Emerging from the other side I discovered that the others hadn’t suffered as
badly so whether I just picked the wrong route or was feeling a bit more
‘conductive’ today, I don’t know.
Walk the Plank
There’d been lots of warnings and murmurings about this one.
On Saturday they’d apparently had large numbers of people struggling and
needing to be rescued and we were warned at the start and at the obstacle to
not attempt it if we weren’t a ‘competent and strong swimmer’… Even that had me
worrying but I decided to give it a go… Our team got called up to the top and I
must admit I don’t think I even looked down. SS gave MB a bit of a shove to get
her off and then when clear we just followed like lemmings. I do remember
halfway down the fall thinking “@#&$! this is a long way!”.
Hit the water, but not the bottom, and starting swimming. I
knew from our training runs and lake dives that my legs would be useless so
just kept using my arms to take me the 50m or so to the other side. I was
starting to worry a bit by the end and am glad it wasn’t much longer – I’m not
surprised they had so many rescues here yesterday….
It’s at this point that I think I lost one of my asthma
puffers in the force of the entry. Thank God I brought two!
And now with that behind us, the mud starts in earnest.
Kiss of Mud
Before we even get to the Kiss of Mud (the 50m crawl under
barbed wire through mud) we commence with a trudge through knee deep, thick,
shoe-sucking mud which fully baptises us into the experience of the rest of the
race. Then a slick crawl up a steep slope and into Kiss of Mud proper. Geez
that crawl is hard – Almost no traction from your shoes and having to rely
almost entirely on your arms to pull yourself through. Many people resorted to
going up sideways and we emerged pretty battered. Most of my injuries from the
day were caused here and it drew blood on at least one of our team.
Still filthy, you then could have a banana stuffed in your
mouth by one of the lovely volunteers, grab a cup of (hopefully) clean water
and slop over to….
Greased Lightening
Everyone loves a slip ‘n slide… Even if there’s a huge muddy
puddle at the bottom. Let the rest of the team go, waited for a bit of
clearance and then LS and I launched ourselves down… Somehow I started feet
first but ended up head first at the bottom and straight into the filth. No
point worrying about the mud again as right next door was…
Cliffhanger
This was an amazing sight to behold. There’s something very
primal about a huge group of people, covered in mud, helping each other up an
impossibly steep and slippery slope. T-shirts had been turned into tow ropes
and before I knew it a complete stranger offered me a line and I hauled them
up, before returning the favour. Inch by inch we made our way up helping as
many as we could along the way. Just standing back and watching humanity in
action (at its best rather than at its worst) was incredible.
Berlin Walls – 9ft
Yep, another set of the tall ones – This time with the added
challenge of being all muddy and slick. This was the wall where I learnt the
safety lesson about watching out for the feet of the person you’re helping out,
as you can’t help but flail about as you get up and over and I copped one to
the face. These were by far the hardest, and my hat goes off to those few who
can do these unassisted.
Boa Constrictor
Some really long running sections over the next few
obstacles, including quite a bit of hillwork. This is where you really noticed
a lot of teams slowing down and from then on it seems most people were for the
most part walking the course. We were very proud of our team and our training
that we were able to keep running in between all these obstacles.
Boa Constrictor was a nice little break to all that running.
You wouldn’t like to be claustrophobic but the tunnels didn’t pose a huge
problem, except for the fact that your feet are useless. Made the mistake of
trying to get up on my knees at one point only to get myself wedged in, so
returned to the forearm crawl for the rest of the way, until a friendly
stranger with headcam lent me a hand and hauled me out.
Bale Bonds
A lot more running before this one. Bale Bonds is a piece of
cake…. Just a few steps up and over. Barely a hiccup in the running!
King of the Mountain
We rounded a corner to find our official photographer lying
in the grass with his lens out like a sniper, and quickly stuck the chest out
for the shot before continuing around to the hay bale mountain. Again, not
particularly difficult, with only the shorter of stature having any real
trouble. Stopped at the top for a team photo and moved on. Nice to actually
have soft straw to land for a change from all this mud.
Spider’s Web
We’d seen a lot of people struggling on these cargo nets
yesterday so I was a bit worried, but with a few people holding the nets down
tight it was no real problem. My wife caught up to me at this point so it was
nice to a fan on the sidelines for the next few obstacles.
Firewalker
Saturday had been windy and blowing the smoke away pretty
swiftly but today was a lot calmer and approaching Firewalker the smoke was
thick in the air. Ventured in to a reasonable amount of heat and a bit of smoke
before it thickened and all became blinding. Luckily at that point you could
hear a voice beckoning you on and a few metres more and you were out, coughing
and clearing your eyes.
Amazingly, my asthma didn’t flare up at this point, nor was
it a problem anywhere else on the course, which I’m really pleased about.
Hold Your Wood
They really should have called this one “Bear Your Cross” as
that’s what it felt like. 6ft long pine poles that we lumbered along for a
while – They weren’t heavy, but jogging with them was still hard simply due to
how awkward they were. But soon we hit the water and it was actually a really
nice break from the whole event – The logs floated and we just sort of cruised
along like happy beavers before emerging at the other end and returning the log
to the pile. We saw a few macho guys grab more than 1, one guy grabbing 6!, but
were content with our required number.
Dong Dangler
A few slippy stretches of mud and we were down to the cables
across the pond – With the water supporting you underneath it was actually
remarkably easy and speedy to whip yourself across using your hands, only
getting caught up when the water got surprisingly shallow at one point. Good
fun little obstacle this one.
Trench Warfare
After Boa Constrictor these tunnels weren’t a huge problem.
Longer, certainly – But they were JUST big enough to get on your knees and
crawl. My greatest fear was darkness and
disorientation but there was enough light creeping in to make it more than
manageable. Couldn't help but start humming the theme tune to "The Great Escape" as LS and I crawled our way through :) Emerged out into the mud puddles again and sloshed our way over and
out.
Mud Mile
We’d seen some big queues here yesterday but it was much
better today. But still, heading down the long single-file trench filled with
mud and water it was a slow slog, with many people bailing and running along
the side. We stayed the course and slowly made our way through, quite enjoying
the change of pace.
Twinkle Toes
How clever of TM to ensure that there was a big patch of
sticky, thick mud right before you got up onto the balance beam. Again, best
not to overthink this one – just go! All was going well for me until a guy next
to me fell off and had to make his way through the water to the ladder, which
meant going under me – and the last thing I wanted to do was fall on him!
Managed to regroup and kept going with only a slight wobble before getting onto
the other side. Phew! Proud of myself there…
For the next few obstacles the common theme before and after
was, not surprisingly, mud. It just seemed to go on forever in long shallow
patches and deep puddles and pool where you couldn’t even guess where you were
putting your feet… And it wasn’t just
plain old normal mud, but mud with a delightful hint of manure I’m sure… Mmm…
Guess that’s what you get when you build a course on old paddocks! This is
where we’d often see the gung-ho time-driven people come adrift as speed and
traction just don’t go together in this terrain.
Tyre Mountain
Exactly what it sounds like – And not too much of a problem
as long as you watched your footing and went for the nice big tractor tyres as
much as possible… But what loomed next was what I’d been fearing the most:
Funky Monkey
In my training the monkey bars have been my nemesis, so I
wasn’t particularly confident about these. And the fact that the first bar I
grabbed span didn’t help either. But in the end I know that only making it two
rungs before falling off was my own fault – I need far more work on grip
strength and upper body ability to get this one done. But well done to SD in
our team who made it all the way. Amazing effort.
Turd’s Nest
This one looks precarious with the cargo net suspended
between the two platforms, and those on the Mud Mile trudging beneath you, but
it’s a pretty straightforward process – One step after another, one hand before
the other… The biggest challenge was actually just getting off the platform,
now encrusted with 2 days of mud and slime.
Everest
Dreaded, yet exhilarating Everest. But first you have to get
to ‘base camp’… that involved for us a good half hour wait (Much better than
the 2 hours people had waited yesterday!) in which time the muscles were
stiffening up. Our team headed up in turn. SS first, then SD, then MB (who
despite being the oldest and shortest was up in a couple of short goes) and LS…
Then me…. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again….
I don’t know what went wrong but I just simply COULDN’T get
up that bastard. (That's me cursing at the bottom after another failed attempt) People had my hands, I had the rope, I put all my effort in
and so did they but I just wouldn’t move. It was as frustrating as hell as
every time I hit the bottom again I’d curse, wondering why everyone else was up
and I wasn’t…. It’s a combination of factors I know, and probably if there’d
been another bigger guy up the top I’d have got up – But for now it’s beaten
me. I gave up, having put in all my effort and failed, and wandered around to
the other side. I know it’s only one obstacle, and in trying 6 times I probably
put in more effort than many others who got hauled up, but it’s going to remain
a thorn in my side – And for that if no other reason I’ll be there in 2013 and
spending between now and then working hard on my grip and upper body strength.
Electroshock Therapy
When you don’t know how this is going to feel it’s easy to
barge in. But having experienced it at Electric Eel already I wasn’t looking
forward to it again – But with the finish line just on the other side you just
had to do it and get it over with…. I probably got hit about 6 times, each one
a nasty jolt to the system and a curse from the mouth, before dodging a fallen
SD and spotting the last set of wires and making a bolt for the open air…..
Phew!!!!
(While this is one of the most unpleasant obstacles to endure it's also the most hilarious to watch, as we discovered later on as we had a beer and watched our fellow Mudders finish. The best were the big, tough, testosterone filled guys who'd charge in with nothing but bravado but 3 seconds later would be squealing and flinching and stumbling for the escape.... No disrespect of course - I appreciate how that reaction is totally involuntary!)
And we’re done!!
Across the line as a team, the way we started, but with what
feels like a lifetime of experience between us.
We were met by our ever-supportive fans and settled in to
enjoy our beers and nurse our bodies at a nice spot on the grass. The buzz
around the TM compound is just awesome and sharing in that satisfaction with
everybody is a huge reward. Inhibitions were cast aside as you showered with
complete strangers and felt quite comfortable dripping mud, half naked across
the compound to grab your bags and another beer. It’s a great feeling, and as I
looked at all these strong men and women around me it was quite a shock to
realise that we were one of them too.
Even today, the feeling is still with all of us. We know it
will fade and soon our lives will be ‘back to normal’ but for now we’re making
the most of it. My bib (which amazingly survived the course) is hanging, filthy
and crumpled at my desk and will be a constant reminder to me of what we can
achieve and how the obstacles of life are just that – merely obstacles to get
over, under or through. It's also a reminder of the importance of having people around you through all of that - and the team and supporters we had were essential for us doing as well as we did.
And will we be there next year? You bet… I can’t wait to get
this same experience again, and this time Everest will be mine ;)
